Because I’m an exceedingly polite gentleman and a very good conversationalist, I hereby try to pass some of my wisdom to you, dear fellow traveller, who choose this dirty corner of the world worthy  for your attention. You did it rightfully, as not only the landscape of our hometown is unbeatable, and the smile of our ladies are melting hearts. As well, we possibly have the weirdest language you ever heard, resembling to no other.

Now, before you might think, no linguistic interest is needed to have the urge of learning a few words of our tongue, locals will also much appreciate you, trying to squeeze out your precious, hard learnt words on the fence of your teeth.

Now picture yourself in the following scenario and come with me on a journey of Basic Hungarian 101

The exceedingly polite gentleman walks into a bar.

After the point of stopping the careful observation of the Bar staff’s God given treasures, a.k.a titties, try to establish eye contact and say Hi!. You do that by saying: Szia! (See-ya!) (No questions at the beginning, just roll on with me and have your faith)

As our journey -like all which worth going on- is beneath tiring, we ask for a beer politely. -Kisasszony, egy sört kérek szépen! (Cishassonu e-j churt khe-rack sepn) If and when, you seek more than one drinks, just simply replace the word “egy” with showing the right amount with your fingers. (This is not an elementary school language class, there will be no song with Hungarian numbers)

When you receive your beverage and the well deserved smile, simply say: Köszönöm! (Kho-seh-nom)

If you do this, your achievement already calls for celebration not only because you tried the impossible and spoke Hungarian, but as well because you ordered more politely than 99% of the pub furniture drinking alongside you, no matter if local or traveller.

Celebration starts with the good old Cheers!, so toast with your friends or some of the nicer guests saying: Egészségedre! (Ag-esh-sheg-ad-reh)

As we started drinking already, I would not push you to learn more words to forget my friend, let me give you some jolly jokers instead to speak yourself out of troubles and into happiness.

After a very careful research and long years of practice in the tourism industry, you most likely will meet non english speakers personated by the following categories.

(the gold-digger, the drug dealer, the policeman and the bouncer)

So here are 4 sentences that can help you out in conversations with this people, who are for some reason absolutely immunized of this anglophone world. (However, there are always exceptions, so even in they exclusive company, try to avoid cursing at them, as there is a chance they will understand that…)

1. Meeting a very attractive, however not very smart looking lady in a club:

-Óhajt velem táncolni a szépkisasszony? Care to dance with me Milady?

2. Meeting with a very passionate, however unwanted street salesman:

-Köszönöm, nem veszek semmit. Thank you, I don’t want to buy anything.

3. Authorities

-Élnék a jogommal és szeretnék ügyvédet fogadni. I’d like to live with my right to obtain an attorney.

4.Bouncers

Jó b..meg, megyek már a fenébe… Fuck, ok, I get the hell out here.

Enjoy your time and stay chivalrous,

The Exceedingly Polite Gentleman